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Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby? They named him “Sum Ting Wo...g”What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impedimentWhat’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... “a recipe”.How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little. ? You will not only do everything I say without question, you will do your damnedest to convince me you're enjoying it.? Agreed?? * * *I put a piece of writing paper and a pen before her, on the kitchen floor.? "Write the following.? 'I have been bad, and I need to be punished.? I will be yours from now until August 13, every night, to be corrected and disciplined.? This I vow before God and before those I love.'"? She had stopped questioning, and wrote the words as fast as she could. She had. “Mandy I apologize, Joe has a beautiful cock. May I touch it?”“Looks like you already are. Joe appears to be enjoying it.” Lisa’s tracing turned into stroking.Lisa looked over at Mandy, sitting only a few feet away, and smiled. In a quick motion, Lisa engulfed Joe’s cock into her mouth. Mandy sat there with her mouth open paralyzed. Her head told her to stop her friend, but she did nothing.“Oh God,” Joe called out. He looked to his wife to find her watching intently with her hands in her. She has heard so many rumors about the autobahn. Apparently, it’s a near-magical place and driving on it is a fantastic, almost therapeutic experience. Wonderful asphalt, nice, broad lanes, no speed limits, great fellow drivers.Most of it turned out to be b.s. The asphalt is okay, she supposes. The lanes are pretty much the same at home. But there is a speed limit almost everywhere, and the fellow drivers apparently fuck up once it gets dark and a single raindrop falls from the sky. There must.
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